Chapter 22 – Healing Wounds

Vamped

Previously, Arabelle’s social status takes a dive and Mark makes a scene around his teammates about joining Misty for yoga. That evening, Sammy is suspiciously well-behaved. Until he isn’t.

Thursday

Mom called me out sick the next morning, before heading off to work. She left Mark to watch over me and to explain that she couldn't ditch her last day at work, but that she'd call sometime after noon. I kept telling him to go to school without me, but he'd always respond, “Is that what you really want, or are you trying to be nice?” I couldn't get the lie out, so I stayed quiet and he stayed longer.

He offered to bring me food, but came back a few minutes later, not sure how long to microwave the prep for. I went back down with him, but he insisted on doing the work under my instruction. He had a bottle out and ready for me before I realized I was thirsty, and didn't make a fuss about the smelly chicken stew as I ate it.

After, he carried me back to the loveseat and we watched the trees outside the big bay windows. It was surreal to be watching for so long when it was hours from raining, but the whole day felt unreal, so nothing truly felt out-of-place about it.

Finally, he asked me, “How are you feeling?”

I shook my head, struggling to find the name for this emotion that was eating me up inside. “I've never regretted not killing someone before.”

“Do you regret it now?” he asked quietly, and I could tell he was trying to keep the concern and judgement out of his tone.

“I don't know.”

He nuzzled my cheek. “I think Kate was right. I think she'll handle it, so that you don't have to. It didn't have to end that way. And now you get to stay.”

I hadn't thought about that. How hard it would be to run from someone who knew the truth about us. Who knew my history. I didn't really think of any of the consequences until just now.

But with that consideration came a new emotion. One that was strange to me, but felt like a softer, gentler version of vanity. “I think I'm proud of myself.”

Mark squeezed me tightly. “You should be. This was a big step for you. It's going to hurt to make such a sudden change. But you did it.”

“I wouldn't have stopped if Mom wasn't there.”

I felt him shrug. “That's kind of what parents are for. To give us a chance to see a different choice, and where it could lead.”

I nodded, not so much to agree, but to show that I understood what he meant. “I think this was the first time where I felt I actually had two options to choose from.”

“How did it feel?”

“I don't know,” I said again. Then, “Better.”

Mom called a few minutes before noon, sounding worried and apologetic. I reassured her that I was doing alright, taking care of my needs, and taking it slow. She sounded calmer by the end of the call, and promised to make extra time for me that evening. When she returned home that night, Mark left after giving her a whispered update on my mental state, and Mom seemed relived when she came back in to sit with me. “Did you want to talk about what happened?”

I shook my head, then spoke anyway. “Thanks for stopping me.”

She sighed heavily. “I'm so sorry it came to that. I know you expressed concerns and I just needed something to point to in order to justify sending him away for good. But that meant exposing you to his behavior again. I decided the only way I'd make that choice was after he touched you, and that wasn't okay. I should have prevented it instead.”

I nodded, because she was right about that. “I don't know what to do now. He only grabbed me, but it feels like I'm just a throw pillow.”

“It doesn't really matter what he did, honey. He crossed a boundary, the day I set it, just to show that he could. It wasn't just the grabbing, it was the intimidation behind it. That's why you feel this way.” I nodded again, because that sounded right. “And I think this may have pulled up other wounds, from getting harassed by classmates to being berated by your father. You didn't grow up with a lot of agency, and he took another piece of it away from you last night.”

“Why do they have to be that way?”

Mom shrugged. “There are a lot of explanations for it, but ultimately the reason is because it works for them. Sammy wasn't once reprimanded until today. We all let it slide to avoid making waves with his mother. Your father got some sick satisfaction from tearing into you. Some people enjoy hurting others, any way they can.”

“I don't want to be around those people anymore.”

“I know, sweetie. And I promise I won't allow them into our home anymore.”

We sat in silence for awhile, then I said, “I'm tired,” and Mom helped me up the stairs, handing my a hardboiled egg and piece of toast to nibble on as I settled into bed.

The next morning she gave me the choice of going to school or staying home to rest. I didn't want to put off life any longer and was eager to spend time with the people who helped me feel safe, so I called Mark and asked him to come by on his way and walk with me. He asked me how I was feeling again, then allowed the silence to continue the whole way to the high school. By the time we got there, I was feeling raw, but grateful to have a routine to cling to.

The hallways looked like some tulle monster had thrown up everywhere. Posters had far too much glitter, shiny fabric, and exclamation marks for that hour of the morning. Each one reminded us that dance tickets were still available and listed a variety of dress code requirements for the girls.

“I have gossip.” Amber had snuck up beside us, causing us both to jump a little. “Do you want me to share, or keep it to myself?”

Mark sighed, but smiled in anticipation. “Why not? Let's hear it.”

“Arabelle only bought one ticket. I'm pretty certain she's going alone.”

Mark sighed heavier and rolled his eyes. “And why would that information interest me?”

Amber smiled. “Because I know you're still a tad petty about her. Also, she might still be trying to find a plus-one, and you may be on that list. Just so you know.”

“We have two classes together. I can't avoid her forever.” It was news to me that they had another period together beside sixth, but I trusted that he neglected to mention that earlier because it didn't matter.

“I just thought you should know. Prepare to be pounced upon.” Then she was gone, weaving amongst the other students to press the corner of a falling poster back onto the wall.

Arabelle didn't pounce on Mark when she came into Newcastle's room, but I couldn't be sure nothing was said between them during their previous class together. She did keep trying to make eye contact with him. Even though Arabelle sat behind him, I wondered if he could still see her, because as the final bell chimed, he turned to me. “Can I come over tonight?”

I studied his face. “You know it's–”

“Yeah, I remember. I'll just wear this and hang out with you if that's okay.” In my peripheral vision, I could see Arabelle dawdling at her desk, clearly trying to catch him before he was off-campus. If they had dated so long, she should know where he lived. Why bother him at school when she could drop by unannounced?

Maybe that's why Mark wanted to come over for yoga night.

“That would be great. You want to head over right away?”

“Definitely,” he breathed, bugging out his eyes a bit. We walked out quickly and didn't stop to chat with the soccer team before turning onto our road.

“Is she following?” he asked.

“How should I know? You're the one with the super-human eyes. Look through the back of your head and tell me where she is.”

He scoffed and grabbed my hand, pulling me behind the trees and leaning us against a sequoia. “I don't have to come over if you don't want me to. I just needed a cover to keep her from calling my house all night.”

“She's been calling?”

“Someone keeps hanging up on my dad, so probably. There's just one more night until the dance, and then I think she'll be less insistent about us being seen together.” He waited for a moment, as if I was supposed to respond, then sighed and pulled me back onto the trail.

I was pretty sure this was the quickest I had ever returned home on a yoga day. None of Mom's coven had arrived yet. She was rocking on a porch step, checking her watch with an Afghan draped over her shoulders.

“Mom, maybe you should wait inside, where it's warm.” She nodded, but didn't get up. “I think they'd tell you if they weren't able to come tonight.”

“Jamie texted about an hour ago. They're supposed to arrive soon.”

I sighed. “So why are you out here, then?”

She shrugged. “In case they have to turn back for some reason.”

Mark looked down our driveway. “My vision's better than both of yours, and I wouldn't be able to see that from here. Let's go inside and wait it out where you'll be warmer.” He gripped her elbow and she let him raise her to her feet.

Mom started calming down once he sat her in her favorite chair and brought her a fresh bottle. He got her talking about how they all met and what other covens she'd been a part of.

I noticed a few minutes in that I was getting dizzy and my hands were shaking slightly. The longer we waited for the coven, the more pronounced it became, as if Mom's nerves were transferring to me instead. Finally she stood up and started prepping the room for the other women and Mark checked in with me.

“Let's get you some fresh air.” He took me out to the back porch, and we leaned against the railing. “You doing alright, Misty? You look like you're having an anxiety attack.”

I pressed my palms against the wooden banister to still them, but they just jerked in resistance. “I don't think I can do this,” I replied. “My chest feels like there's a band wrapped around it.”

Mark gently placed his hand on mine. “Take a shallow breath.” I obeyed. “Okay, now a little deeper. And deeper.” He guided me through my breathing until I was taking normal, then heavy breaths. My mind started clearing, but the worries were still there.

“What's happening to me? I've never felt this nervous before yoga.”

He gave me a sidelong glance. “I think your body's just trying to protect you. It's giving you a warning signal, you know?”

“Because of Sammy?”

He nodded. “It's a trauma response. Your body is letting you know you're entering the same situation that you did last time, to give you time to leave. You just need to remind yourself that you're safe now, and things will be okay this time.”

“I can't stand out here and do breathing exercises for the rest of my life. And I don't want to be in there with them if I'm going to feel awful the whole time.”

Mark put his arm around my shoulder. “It won't last forever. Soon your body will accept that this is what's normal and predictable, and stop trying to warn you.”

I huffed. “How long will that take?”

He chuckled. “I can't say. I don't even know if there is an expected timeframe. You'll just have to be patient and take care of yourself while you acclimate.”

I pouted. “I want to feel better now.”

Mark laughed louder. “I want that, too, but these things take time. Just focus on being kind to yourself and creating safe spaces when you can. Your nerves will get the message eventually.”

We heard someone pull into the driveway then, and walked around the yard to greet them. Mom was still wrapped in the blanket, but smiled as she chatted with them. They piled out of a hatchback, stretching and waving at Mark and I.

“How on earth did you all fit in there?” Mom laughed.

“Olivia offered to ride on top, Granny Clampett style,” said Amanda, “but we were afraid of getting pulled over on the way.”

We all made our way back inside for drinks. Immediately, the woman circled Mom and started describing the ride home on Wednesday.

“Was it bad? She wasn't mad at you guys, right?”

Marissa snorted. “Not at first.” Mom gave her a confused look while the others shook their shoulders, trying not to laugh. “She clearly thought we were on her side, because she kept going on about how disrespectful you were to her, and how Misty would be lucky to mate with her son. It was disgusting to listen to.”

Olivia took up the tale. “So finally Amanda turns to her – she was riding shotgun – and says, 'Your son would be lucky to screw a duck, Janet. He's a perverted little weasel who would turn off a stinkbug. He's got the personality of a hentai protagonist, and the habits to match. One day he's going to go too far with the wrong girl, and unlike his frat brothers, he won't have a rich father to make it all go away.'”

We all oohed at Amanda, who tossed her hair back and said, “Somebody needed to say it.”

“Pity we had to walk after that,” Marissa mumbled, and the others burst into laughter.

“What?!” Mom said, her voice rising in pitch.

Marissa waved her off. “We were only a few miles away; it was fine. Once we got into the city, a bus driver pulled over and took us each home.”

Jamie leaned over to Mom and whispered, “It was that brunette I was telling you about, with the really nice deltoids.” Mom smirked in response. “He was happy to see us in our fitness wear.”

Knowing about the outburst on the drive home seemed to reassure Mom that things between the rest of them would be okay, and I found it easier to expand my lungs knowing others were willing to speak up for me.

Mark recommended that I join in this time, to help me relax, and I decided to give it a try. Mom sent us through a few body folds that immediately drained my stress away and left me feeling balanced and clear-headed. After that, I was willing to ignore my judgement about yoga and accept the possibility that there was something to it after all. I had been trying a lot of new things lately, and this was the quickest to pay out so far.

I ignored the usual conversation they picked up after the initial centering and focused on my breathing, the way my muscles and tendons flexed and pulled, and where my anxiety was heading. It had been a good idea to be a participant rather than an observer this time, because doing so put me in a different space physically and mentally than Wednesday. It also gave me something else to concentrate on, so I could distract my thoughts from wandering back to Sammy. Eventually I was able to tune in on the chatter and allow my body to stay relaxed without actively controlling my breathing.

After the Savasana pose, we gathered back in the kitchen for an odd smorgasbord of vamp-friendly hoers d'oeuvres and sushi. “Just a little celebration of my new position with the blood distribution group here in town,” Mom explained. And a thank-you for coming back for her, I thought. The others got the message too, and went around the table, toasting her for the new job and for being such a good friend.

She started tearing up when Jamie finished up by saying, “We were in such grief when you moved away, and so grateful you've opened your home to us so that we may keep you in this coven, and in our friendship.”

My eyes got watery too, knowing how much this meant to her, and what a difference having them around was. Her life was turning around, too. I had this strong and sudden certainty that things would only get better from here on out. We'd both be happy, together and with those who've accepted us into their lives.

The coven stayed later than usual, insisting they could be out as long as they wanted on a Friday night. Mark pulled me outside, through the rain and into the woods, to tell me how good I looked bending over and stretching in front of him. He pushed me up against a tree and touched every piece of skin that slipped into view throughout the evening, and told me what clothing would show it off at school. “Now I wished I had saved Wednesday's outfit for you to wear today. It would have been hotter than Twister.”

I laughed at the memory of leaning against each other for support and blowing up other girls' skirt to unsteady them. “I really shouldn't bend forward in that camisole. I might fall out of it.”

“Oh, I'm aware,” he said, nipping at the skin above my chest. “That's the whole point.”

“What about that skin-tight set you wore? We could see everything. Wear that to school, and see what happens. See how quickly they call you down to the office.”

“You're right. We should dress up outside of class.” His hands slid down my waist, sending shivers across my stomach.

“Just tell me when,” I breathed out, trying to copy what he was doing and electrify his skin in the same way.

He pulled my fingers down to his lower obliques and I slid them further down his waistband. “How about tomorrow?” he whispered in my ear.

“Sure,” I said, trying not to shudder. “Where do you want me to wear them?”

Mark completely deflated in my arms. “Why do you gotta do that to me?”

“Do what?” I asked, worried I'd killed the mood with my naïveté and coy attitude.

He sighed. “I want to – never mind. Forget I said anything.” I looked up into his eyes, but he wouldn't meet mine.

“Mark, come on. Tell me.”

He shook his head. “It's nothing.”

I pulled away, sensing the energy had been sapped out of the moment. But he grabbed me again and held me tight, swaying his hips against mine and letting his hands wander behind my back and further down to my thighs. I let it go and joined him, exploring his skin with my hands as well.

He pulled my face up to his and kissed me deeply, sliding his tongue between my lips and licking the roof of my mouth. I gasped at the proximity, but he held me against him, and I matched his intensity. We stayed wrapped around each other, trying to find ways to get closer to the other without going all the way. It wasn't until a branch snapped above me and drenched us in a splash of freezing water that we pulled apart and ran back inside the house. Mom looked us over and sighed at the trail of puddles we brought along. She pointed to the upstairs bathroom, then brought us towels a moment later.