Chapter 15 – Moving Forward

Vamped

Previously, Misty’s mother helps her get ready to meet Mark’s coven. At the party, her mother meets a new admirer.

Friday

Jeff's dad must have been a chef at one point in his life, because everything on the table in front of me was delectable, taunting my senses as I waited for everyone to be served.

Mom gave me a look as I piled chimichurri steak onto my plate, knowing she would never let me eat almost-raw cuts at home. I relented and looked around at the other dishes for something appetizing. Among the other meaty dishes were an aromatic lamb stew and a beef fondue dish that smelled more like broth and lemon juice than oil. I skimmed over the table for meatless options and found a small plate of deviled eggs and chocolate-covered strawberries.

Kimberly made eye contact with me and handed me the plate. “Here you go dear. We made these special for you.” My cheeks grew hot as I thanked her, overcome with how often people made food they couldn't eat just for me. Mark smiled kindly at me while I transferred some of the eggs and fruit to my plate. His face turned sour as I took a big bite of an egg, obviously savoring the taste of mustard and paprika.

Watching everyone else eat, I noticed they didn't pay much attention to sides and appetizers and such. Each person served themselves several bites of a handful of dishes, almost like sharing plates at a restaurant. There wasn't even much respect for whose food was whose. I saw many couples moaning over one dish, bringing a bite to the mouth of their partner to finish, but also offering pieces to others from their plate as they finished a dish, scraping it onto others' dishes. It was like watching a group of fish and arthropods feeding off of a whale carcass, except these scavengers were feeding bits of flesh to each other.

As much as I got the occasional craving for raw meat, it was starting to turn my stomach to watch, so I focused on my own meal and tuned into Mark's conversation with Jeff and Ash.

“We're only sophomores, how can we know now?” Mark said, his eyebrows pulled in together. “Won't it be a waste if we choose something, then change our minds?”

Ash shrugged. “Maybe that's part of the purpose? Try something out, and if we don't like it move to the next thing. It's better than starting for real later, then feeling like you have to stick with it.”

Jeff piped it. “Or change majors two years in.”

I leaned closer to Mark. “What are you talking about?”

The boys leaned in closer to me so we could hear each other over the adults' conversations and the girls' giddiness at their steak Jenga tower. Mark leaned back so I could see the other two. “We're still stuck on what we want our internships for next year to be. They make us do it as juniors so we can focus on graduating the year after, but who knows what they want to do at that point?” Jeff explained.

“Amber does, of course,” Ash sighed. He wiped his hand over his face. “I made the mistake of mentioning that I could just join her internship until I got an idea of what I wanted, and she went on this long rant about how it's a 'slippery slope' from that to making all my decisions based on hers and never choosing my own life with intention.”

Mark and Jeff gave knowing smirks. “Yeah,” Mark said. “That was a pretty stupid thing to say.”

Jeff was snickering into his fist. “How did you think she would take it?”

Ash set his shoulders back and fluttered his fingertips at the table, taking on a falsetto. “Gee, lover of mine, I would absolutely enjoy and appreciate spending extra time with you during the day, especially since we won't have as many classes together next year. Thanks for wanting to be around me once in a while, babe.”

Mark chortled into his stew. “That voice doesn't sound like her at all!”

“You know what I mean, though! I thought she'd be pleased that I wasn't just throwing it away on a random choice.”

Jeff held his hands up to calm Ash. “You know it's hard for someone as driven as her to tolerate the aimlessness of others.”

Mark nodded. “Plus, she has a point about the slippery slope. If you don't like the internship, how likely are you to look for a new career path? I mean, you weren't even willing to think of one the first time. You just left it up to her.”

Ashton's eyes clouded over and he looked down at his fondue skewers. “I guess I didn't think about it that way.” I listened for the other two to say something instructional or encouraging, but they remained silent and waited. Across from us Selene snatched a long skewer out of the tower as it leaned precariously and all three girls sighed as it stayed up. Ash let out a breath. “No, you're totally right. I need to think about my own path. But all I like is soccer, and the career counselors won't let you choose a sport or other body-based talent. But it's not like I can actually get injured! I'll always be able to play.”

The others gave groans of agreement. Then Mark said, “Let's make it a team thing. Get all the sophomores together and brainstorm careers and jobs we could intern for. We can't be the only ones having trouble deciding.”

Jeff added, “And having some of the upperclassmen there for advice would be helpful. You know some of them made those aimless mistakes and wish they had done something else now. I'm sure they'd be willing to set aside an off-season practice for some informal guidance counseling.”

After this, the conversation devolved (or, from their perspective, evolved) into a discussion of times and dates and people and details, so I didn't bother to follow. My mind drifted to a more potent version of their dilemma.

I hadn't known about the internships at all, and I didn't have a sport or hobby to start from. If we were expected to take time out of school to go to an unpaid job, would I be able to keep up with my other classwork? Did I even want to participate in an internship? I had resolved to stay in this town indefinitely. I barely even get the urge to deal with conflict how I used to. But settling into a career path at this point sounded premature. I had just gotten settled into a 'normal' lifestyle and started focusing on school at all. How would I be able to choose from a long list of businesses looking for free, unskilled labor?

Adam leaned in from my other side and whispered, “Existential crisis?” I jumped and dragged my head out of my latest task on the ever-growing to-do list. He chuckled, but apologized. “I was eavesdropping on the boys and you. Not sure what you want to do with your life yet?”

I shook my head. “I'm not sure what I want to do with the next year, honestly.”

His smile turned sympathetic. “When I was your age, I was adamant about becoming an actuary.”

I felt my expression twist into something sour. How could someone so sleek and interesting want to be something so … boring? “Why?”

He laughed again. “I had a good sense for numbers, found it easy to separate myself from the context of the work, and wanted to be rich. And I was so used to convincing teachers into letting me skip tests, I had this silly notion I'd be able to get out of the numerous ones required at the end of the degree. If you hadn't noticed earlier, I've got quite a bit of charm.” He leaned forward and his features became more chiseled and his untidy hair shined for a moment. I realized then that his thing was charisma.

“Sorry for earlier, dear. I was aiming for your mother,” he gave an impish grin. “I didn't realized she had already been swept away.” He turned to Mom and Rei, who were leaned in close together, absently touching each other's hands, and discussing something intently.

I switched back to the actual topic. “What did you do, then?”

His smile saddened. “I went through with it, of course. Spent years in college, studying the program. Spent even longer trying to pass the exams, which couldn't be waved. My uncle introduced me to a friend of his with a consulting firm, and I was able to network well from there. But then the time came to sign on, and I realized I didn't like the work.”

“But you said you had a sense for it,” I objected.

He nodded. “I did. But I was like a child with a knack for basketball, who wanted to dance. I was sharp and kept excellent records, but there was no passion in it. I couldn't bring myself to make that final step and commitment into a career I didn't want. Even though it felt at the time that I was throwing away years of progress and preparation, I didn't want to be in the finance business. I swallowed the debt and worked it off as a bartender until I found my calling.”

“So what do you do now?” I asked, not sure where this sad story was going.

“I write novels now,” he replied simply.

I stared back. That had nothing to do with risk assessment, or money. “What?” I said shortly.

He laughed, enjoying my reaction. “I write historical fiction, mainly from the perspective of the villains. Some are real people – I still take excellent notes – and some are smaller characters in the geopolitical arena that I craft myself.”

I looked him over again, taking in the perfectly disheveled dark hair, midnight blue sweater over a crisp, white dress shirt, and the easy way he smiled and bantered. “You would be good for my mom.”

He snorted. “I'm generally the wet dream of most moms, if I may be so bold and honest.” I nodded my head in agreement. “But my actual point is that my career path took a huge turn, which at first seemed like a nosedive. And I still found the right path in the end. It's fine for you to get started on something and change your mind. The point of these internships is to give you the chance to make that shift sooner rather than later.”

I still felt unsure that his plan was ideal. He must have seen that in my expression, because he concluded, “So choose something you have an interest in, or passion for, or skill at. If it's not right for you, you'll find out eventually. If it's later on in your life, that's alright. But keep in tune with what you want from the start, and you may find the right path earlier on than I did.”

I turned back to my plate and took another deviled egg, chewing on it as I also chewed over my thoughts. When I had swallowed, I turned back to Adam, whose attention was still fully on me. “Thank you for the advice. I'll think about it more later.” He smiled, gave a curt nod, and turned to join the conversation between Ash and Jeff's parents across from him.

What was I interested in, passionate about, or good at? I thought. And what do I want to do with my life now that I won't be spending it running away from my mistakes?

The evening eventually shifted from the isolated dining room back into the kitchen and then into other rooms. The other guests spread out a bit, and Mom and I were passed around to connect with people individually. It was hard to keep from seeing it like speed dating, or a series of interviews, but I tried to stay calm and just answer their questions without reservation. Many people wanted to know how we made it into town and what we did with our spare time. Mark sat with us the whole time and smoothly glossed over the grislier parts of my adolescence. Mom was getting antsier with each, “What do you do for work?” and began jiggling her leg anytime we sat down with a new couple.

Finally, someone had an actual follow-up question. “I just wondered because we need a new vamp stationed at our delivery center,” Ashton's mom, Katherine, was saying. “Alyssa finally decided to retire to Italy and the replacement she groomed just went on a permanent maternity leave, so we're desperate for somebody with medical experience and people skills.”

Mom's eyebrows lifted slightly. “I have both of those,” she said.

Katherine smiled indulgently. “So I've gathered. It's a pretty straightforward position. You would be coordinating the entirety of our blood drop-offs to this town and the rural communities around it. Alyssa was trying to network with the surrounding suburbs to decrease our surplus through them, but hadn't managed to break through to any of their covens. Hopefully you'd be able to continue her work in that, as well as increase outreach to the cities beyond.”

Mom nodded and mentioned how eager her coven was to join the network.

Ashton's mom smiled. “Perfect. I'm so glad I brought it up. Don't worry about giving me an answer tonight, of course. It's not too much of a rush; we're able to carry on for awhile with her old schedules. Anyway, it'll be salaried and mostly full-time – she was averaging about thirty hours a week.” Here Mom's eyes widened and her eyebrows arched higher. “You could even do most of it remote if you preferred. We could give you one of our system phones to bring home. And you would just report to me, so you wouldn't have to come into the office more than once a week. Just give it some thought, okay?”

Mom's eyes were still wide. “I will do that, thank you.” Katherine smiled one last time and herded us back into the kitchen with the whole group.

On the way, Mom turned to me and mouthed, Can you believe it? I knew she was glad for the chance to do something else. She once likened hospice care to keeping cut flowers. “You do everything you can for them, and they still wither away in the end.” It was hard for her to grow close to them, knowing she would lose them in the end. This would get her away from that hopelessness, while also allowing her to get that connection she craved from other covens. We smiled together for a moment before the music was turned down and the kids hushed.

Kimberly held up a glass of blood and waited for us to each grab one from the tray Jason was bringing around. “I just wanted to leave you all with a few thoughts before we each return to our own lairs for the night.” She turned to Mom and I. “We were joined here today by a common desire to strengthen our resolve through the support and guidance of our friends. Tonight, let's remember the crucial and enriching steps in that process.” She raised her glass and we all copied her. “To bringing new friends into the fold. To encouraging and protecting them in their efforts. And to receiving the bounty of their gifts as they share their own insights and moxie with us. To Misty and Kate.” The rest of the group echoed her and we all drank.

I looked around at the group of people who had gathered to meet me, even though they had no need to do so. It wasn't just Mark's parents or his teammates. This was something larger than that. It was individuals coming together because they thought my mom and I were worth getting to know. I felt this lightheartedness at the knowledge that I mattered to somebody not immediately within my own little world. A lot of somebodies. I looked over to Mom and saw that she was feeling moved in the same way, soaking in the sentiment from the toast in the warm smiles that surrounded us. After clearing her throat, she managed a hoarse, “Thank you.”

Mark walked us both home as we made our way down the trail next to the road. He had taken off his leather jacket and draped it over Mom's shoulders, as she had finally gotten chilly in that thin, meshed dress of hers. She led a few paces ahead of us, humming absentmindedly to herself, content in the way the night had unfolded.

Mark turned to me. “So? What do you think?

I nodded. “That was really nice. I had a good time.” I stayed quiet for a moment, thinking, and he let me process what I wanted to say next. “It wasn't as lively as the soccer party, but there was the same sort of energy.” Mark smiled at that. “I really like your people,” I finished. “We should do more things together.”

He quirked up an eyebrow. “What, more dinner parties?”

I shrugged. “Or double dates. Or outings. I don't know. I like being around them. I like how easygoing you are around them.”

He nodded back. “Good. I really appreciate you being willing to go.”

I snorted. “After you came to Mom's coven night, I kind of had to.”

Mark sighed. “You didn't have to.”

He was right. I could have said no, and it wouldn't have changed things between us. But I knew he wanted me to be social, and to be around him when he was. And I knew that I wanted to have more people in my life. Isolation didn't suit me well. It was too easy to get caught ruminating about dark thoughts. “Okay then. I wanted to. I want to meet your friends and family, and I want to spend time with you in a group setting, because it's good for you and for me and for us.”

He beamed. “Ara never did any of that kind of stuff.”

“Not even Twister Parties?” I asked.

He shook his head. “She would have liked something like this, because it would have been all about her. But group activities with people who were outside her own sphere of influence always got cancelled last-minute. She hated sharing the spotlight and she especially hated sharing me. Mostly we'd sit around while she bitched about people or I'd follower her entourage around the city while they all tried to sneak into twenty-one-and-up clubs. But she refused to be around my circle.”

I shook my head in bewilderment. “Why not?”

“I think they were just too real for her. It was easy to look sexy and interesting around her handful of minions, who were never as lewd or made-up or overly dressed as she. But next to my friends, she'd just look … watered down.”

I heard a hmm from my mom ahead of us that echoed my own thoughts. “How could someone so bold look like less next to your people?”

He turned to me, a small smile on his face. “Because they're the Sun and she is–”

“The East?” I interrupted.

“What?” he spat. “Ew, no. She's the Moon.” He shook his head, laughing at my juvenile reference. “All she can do is reflect other people. She can't stand in the center of a group of people and not be outshone. There's nothing to her to shine, to be honest. I fell for the sex and flurry of how special I felt around her, but none of it was real. It was myself being reflected back onto me.”

He took my hand in his, holding it fiercely, but not too tight. “You're the Sun, too, you know. You don't reflect others' light. You have your own glow. You always have. I think you just finally had a chance or reason to tap into it.”

I blushed, pleased by the praise. But the comparison still worried me. “What happens when there's two Suns in a relationship. When there isn't a light and a reflection?”

He squeezed my hand. “You don't need the other to have a good time or appear attractive. You just are.”

“Binary solar systems are very unstable,” I quipped.

He laughed. “We're not in the same system, though. That's my point. You and me, we're two Suns in the same galaxy. We each have our own planets in our own space. And we regularly pass by each other as we move about our own orbits.”

I thought about this. “I think you have more planets than me,” I sighed.

He laughed again. “I've been collecting them for a bit longer, it sounds like. I'm sure you'll snag an asteroid here or form a gas giant there.”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I'm done with this metaphor now.”

He chuckled and put his arm around me, smooshing us closer together as we came upon my house through the trees. “Just know that I like how you are around my people and want to spend more group time together, too.”

I nodded once more as the three of us stepped onto the porch. Mom went on through the front door, and Mark took advantage of the privacy to kiss me goodnight, then continued his own walk home.

Mom had two bottles out and open for us when I walked inside. “Do you want yours heated?”

“With honey?” I asked. It had grown on me the more I spent time with other vampires. I noticed the differences more now, but they didn't feel so threatening. I was half-human, and was allowed to like human things. At least halfway. Mom poured it into a small saucepan and turned up the heat, pulling the honey jar from a nearby cabinet. I knew by my special mug that it was time to chat, so I waited in my comfy chair by the bay windows for her to gather her thoughts in the kitchen.

She followed me in several minutes later, setting down my drink on the coffee table and settling in with her own mug of blood, without the curlicues of steaming plasma coming from the top. She took a long sip, breathed out, then looked up at me, clearly content.

“I'll be accepting that position Katherine offered tonight,” she said. Then she continued. “I don't expect it to change much, other than improving my lifestyle and making me more available to you. But I'd like to hear what you think about the change, and if you have any concerns.”

I looked up to the ceiling, trying to think of any. “Will it be awkward if we break up while you're working there?” was all I could come up with.

She shrugged. “It might be. I don't know how she'll handle it. But I'm sure we'll be fine. I'd like to become involved with your new coven, and that will strengthen the bond so that it's not as easily stressed by teenage drama.” She winked.

“Hell hath no fury like a teenager scorned,” I replied.

Mom smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “When I was your age, I'd watch the other teens date. They had a habit of making their rounds within their own social groups, switching partners every couple weeks, almost like a folk dance. And I noticed that the stronger their friendships were, the less breakups affected their group. I've seen this in covens over time, also. When a couple has nothing left to give to each other, their relationship falls apart. But the coven remains strong. I think, if your relationship does end, strengthening my ties with the rest of the coven would make it less awkward after.”

I nodded slowly. “Well, that's all I've got,” I said softly. She smiled again. “I like that you'll be able to leave your job now. There's too much death there. And that's a lot, coming from me.”

She giggled at my humor. “It's a lot coming from me, too. Maybe that's why it's so hard for us.”

I thought about what her new position would mean. “You'd still get to help people. I know that matters to you.”

Mom smiled at me, in that way people do when they feel seen, for real. “It does. I'll miss getting out of the house regularly – although I really wasn't doing much socializing.”

“What about your current patients? Will they understand?” If I had finally started to remember a single nurse after years of forgetting everyone I loved, losing her would be hard.

“I'll give notice. It will give me time to see some of them through to the end.”

I nodded, pensive. “I really do like the idea of this new job, though.”

She heaved a great sigh. “Me too, dear. Me too.”